And Then I Fed My Child

Why does my child eat so much? Everyone's answer is always "Oh, he's a growing boy," but this is getting absurd. No really. I'll tell you what I did today. It's really boring.

I woke up at 8:30 am which is super late because it means I slept in 2 hours past the usual alarm, and 3 hours after those crazy birds start chirping. L had already fed the boy, but the didn't stop him from looking longingly at the eggs and sausage I made myself. Oh yea. In between waking and sharing my breakfast with him, he ate two bananas, this weird meat stick thing, a gigantic cup of orange juice, and cheese. Then after breakfast I began my weird Saturday morning Domestic Explosion, which usually involves doing all the dishes, taking out the trash, watering the garden, cleaning something that we've avoided cleaning all week (like our clothes), and baking something that most people just buy. Today I made fruit leather AND peanut butter cups. So Bottomless Pit also snacked on left-over apple sauce (fruit leather before it's cooked) and peanut butter. Then I read some Harry Potter, while the boy made himself a snack of banana slices dipped in peanut butter. Then I showered, and we went to the park and had a picnic lunch. I fed him SO MUCH FOOD, even meat! He played for a bit, then ran back to where I was sitting and said, "Do you have any more food?" I gave him a carrot. He looked at me like I had just farted in his face, but he took the carrot anyway and ate it in five seconds. Oh guess what? He was still hungry! You know that Eric Carle book about the Caterpillar? I'm pretty sure my child (or any growing six-year-old) was the inspiration. So then we played lots of hide and seek and I tried to distract his stomach by giving him gum to chew on. On our way to the CVS he said, "Hey Mama, can we get a snack?"

You know that feeling when your kid has the flu but you have to go to the grocery store, or the pharmacy, and you bring your sick pajama-wearing kid along but you are filled with this anxiety that he's gonna puke again in the middle of the store so you go as fast as you can and just hope you stop driving and rush him into the bathroom before he explodes again? I felt that way today, but opposite.

We got home and while I was prepping his dinner he made himself a weird snack of banana and melted cheese-- he does eat food other than bananas, by the way. When I was growing up, if we wandered into the kitchen when my mom was cooking and asked for a snack we were shot a filthy look and told to leave. I tried that for a few years, but gave up a few weeks ago when I realized that he still eats a huge amount of "proper" dinner right after having a weird snack. My mom always said "It will ruin your appetite." God, if only. One time I let him eat an entire bowl of ice cream and brownie BEFORE dinner and he still ate every single vegetable on his plate. Ruined appetite, my ass.

He ate dinner (two mini pizzas and a 2 glasses of a super yummy protein-filled mango smoothie), ate a peanut butter cup for dessert, then went to bed complaining that he's "starving."

No really. That's all I did today. I fed my son for 12 hours, and I read some Harry Potter.

-B